Age...Does it matter?

[heidi!]

Ok..Before I start this I want to say im not pointing fingers...This isnt about anyone particular that I know here...but just in general and from personal experiences...

I was talking to an old co worker today..She was telling me about this girl I had worked with...At that time this girl was 16...I caught her"fucking around" with a guy in the town I lived...He was 36....One night I went to his drinkin spot...Sat down next to him and talked in a very nice voice..Told him If I ever even heard of him with her again I would make sure his ass was in jail...and if I couldnt get him for statutory I would find something else...To which he replied..."Mind you're own business"..Well at that time that girl was my business....By the time I was finished with him he couldnt move in that town without the cops watching...

Now this girl is 18...he is 38....and she is back living with him...she's 18 now so its out of everyones hands....but DAYUM..I went to the same school with this guy...he is older than I am but I can remember him dating the "in girls" the pretty popular ones....and now he is hitting on girls half his age...What the hell went wrong in his life?

I guess my question is...If this were a 38 year old woman with a 18 year old guy would I feel this disgusted?...Is 18 old enough to know the difference...Does it depend on life experiences....Does everyone have to learn the hard way????...

How young is too young...How old is too old...Im disturbed by this because I know why he is with this young girl...Makes me ill..*sighs*
Personally....I have guy friends that are younger than me...In real time and here in cyberland...But I have always said I find nothing in common with younger men...I cant get stimulated mentally...Physically is a given...they are younger...so just sex would be fun...but when you want a intelligent conversation...Most of the young guys I know dont have the same interests as I do...Or are "childish"...in their ways and that gets old...I go out with my best bud sometimes...she dates younger guys...and I watch them interact with the women...Its funny..they act all stupid and stuff..*L*...but nonetheless...Not everyone feels as i do..
I prefer men my age or close to my age...I like maturity and experience...I like a stable man who dont live with his parents or have a ton of baggage...and I know older men can do and have all these things...they just tend to be less than the younger ones...

Soo in all seriousness Im interested in what it is you people have in common...the older women with the younger guys...and same for the older guys with the younger women...
what would a 30 something year old woman have in common with a teenager?
What would a 30 something year old man see in a teenage girl??
I know its about preference....personal preference...Mine is older men...whats yours?..*G*

[snail]

pffft yeah all older women are so much more intellectual than us younger guys. It all depends on the people. But 16 with a 36 year old is pretty sick. Then again sometimes a 18 year old with a 21 year old can be sick if he's abusive. Maybe this guy treats her better than guys her age.

BTW I appreciate your comment that younger guys can't keep you intellectually stimulated.

[This message has been edited by snail (edited March 19, 2001).]

[heidi!]

*L*@ you snails...Why would you think I was referring to you..I wasnt referring to anyone inparticular..What brought this up was that phone call I got today....dont be so paranoid..
Although think about this for a second..what do you and I have in common?...Other than our sense of humor and our understanding of certain things....
If I gave in to you tryin to start petty arguments with me sometimes..We would do nothing but fight...and you know that...but this isnt about you..Everything isnt about you ..*LOL*
Its about what do people see in the younger person..I mean late teens early 20's when you are older than that...
I just want people's opinions ....this isnt about anyone other than me being interested in what makes you tick...K?

[This message has been edited by heidi! (edited March 19, 2001).]

[heidi!]

I didnt even mention you're name in this original post...what does me talkin about sex have to do with this thread...that could be a whole new thread..*L*
I never assume anything....I could give you examples but Im not goin to do that here...because again this wasnt about you...Or me either for that matter..Im asking in general..
Snails if you want to fight me on everything I say and do...start a thread for only that..and we will hash it out there..K?..*G*

[snail]

I didn't say you were talking about me in particular. But if i went on and on about how i can't stand older women because they're boring you'd take it personally since you fit in that catagory.

And i get a long with plenty of older women and we have good conversations in r/t.

However I guess I like younger women, but i won't date anyone under 16.

[snail]

whoops i deleted that just now...the one you responded to.

[2CUTE]

I'll post a couple times on this, cuz i hate to get long winded, I'm just curious heidi, you keep bringing up "in common" what are your interests? I have a variety, all of which a younger person could in fact enjoy and be interested in...*shrugs*

I'll be the first to admit, not all younger men have the same goals/interests as me (the last one was a disaster), but....you kinda act like its nearly impossible to have the same interests in someone younger...what ARE you doing in your free time? *L

My personal opinion is...it's ok, AS LONG AS both are of legal age, and consenting adults.

I am with a younger guy, and I have been before, neither of us have a problem with it, as a matter of fact, we both forget the age difference usually, it's not even a thought, until other people bring it up...*shrugs* it's something neither of us thinks about, seem like other people think about more than we do.....why dwell on it?

Don't get me wrong, I'm talking about two ADULTS...the guy you mentioned, is disgusting, she's a child, and she should have been allowed to have a normal childhood, of course she's still with him, he's older, and she didnt have normal "teenage years"...he should have been locked up, and....where were the parents/guardians? Isn't it thier job to protect the child from perverts like that?

[Hank]

Heidi, what hobbies do you have that someone younger than you can't enjoy?
(besides braiding your back hair *lol* j/k)

I'm a fairly independent person. I've been on my own since before I was old enough to technically have my driver's license... so for as young as I am, I've had a little life experience. I don't think relationships have much to do with age. They're built on common intrests and values, not your birthdate.

It's who you're comfortable with and the types of people you surround yourself with. And I guess if you're not stimulated by younger men, you may not want to be surrounded by them, eh?

But I don't think just because someone is ten years older than the other doesn't make them more intelligent or even more mature. I've met some pretty damn immature 40 year olds (my parents being a fine example) and some very mature youngun's. It's the person and their past experiences and there personality that makes up what is so stimulating about them.

I mean, c'mon, if I came on the net and told ya'll I was 30... would you really be able to make out the difference without a doubt? Nah.

You relate with someone who's got characteristics you enjoy. I've got a preference for women older than myself because that's who I seem to have the most in common with. But then again, I've got friends that range from my age to twice my age, and it's all got to do with who they are, not when they were born.

[heidi!]

*L*...dont attack me...well go ahead cause I dont care..*G*
When I say in common with...I mean..Usually at 30 you have some of you're goals met...You have a outline of where you want you're life to be...You have you're wild oats sown so to speak....You had you're "wild days" and now you are lookin for more..
and Hank...I didnt say I didnt want to surround myself with younger people..dont put words in my mouth here...I said I wouldnt want a meaningful relationship with one..If I fell in love with one...then sobeit...but I dont look foryounger guys when I go out...I dont get all excited about the idea of a relationship with a younger man..Again its a preference..
and Yeah Hank I would have known you were young...As a matter of fact if you recall..I always asked you how old you were...because you seemed young to me...Im not attacking you because of you're age...but yep..You act you're age...and so you should..
2CUTE..our preferences are different....I give you shit about it..but you know its all in fun...I think whatever makes you happy is the most important thing..
I didnt make this thread so people could form opinions of me...I told you what my preference was..and thats all this thread was about...You're personal preference...not whether its right or wrong.

[2CUTE]

I didnt attack you....I know you do it in fun, and i hate the word "preference" this is the 2nd younger guy....it's really not a preference, just happened that way.

"Wild oats"...dancing, partying, getting drunk, the occassional drug...?? *eyes you* I'll give up my partying days...if you do *G

I have no kids, I'm responsible for only myself, I'm sure if i had chosen to have kids, it would be a totally different story.